As my first year of college comes to a close, I find myself with the daunting task of packing up my dorm room and squeezing my mountain of belongings into my two-door clown car for the journey home. The move-out date — April 27, yea, tomorrow — has been pencilled on my calendar for months now, yet I woke up this morning without a single box packed. And then instead of productivity, of course I chose more procrastination today. I spent the day doing everything I possibly could to avoid actually packing — filling up my gas tank, organizing my photos and documents into precise files, I even took a trip to Goodwill. Yea that’s right, I bought more clothes which requires more packing. I really thought that one out.
As I sifted through the racks at Goodwill, wasting more minutes away, I realized maybe I was avoiding packing so excessively was because I was actually avoiding change. Of course I can’t wait to go back home, but at the same time I’ve become so accustomed to my surroundings that the thought of yet another adjustment seems strange and foreign. I feel sort of nomad-ish, roaming to and fro from town to town, not knowing which place to call my true home — is it the place where I sleep or the place I grew up in for eighteen years?
Its a confusing thing when so many changes happen so quickly, especially when you’ve been thrown into an entirely new town on your own. You just want things to slow down, to stop changing so quickly, to stop changing entirely.
But things have to change. People aren’t mountains, we can’t stay in the same place, in the same way for eternity. As the world changes we have to cope and adjust to it and change as well. Not necessarily change our own selves, but grow. As I look back on my past year in my new town, I’d say I’m proud of the growth I’ve achieved, and I’m proud of the mountain I’ve climbed. And in the end I’ve decided my true home isn’t where I sleep; its the place where I can be with the ones I love, and where I can grow with them together. ❤ SB
Not to be confused with this:
On my playlist: